August 12

I'm officially an Indian? Is that what people in Indiana are called? Anyways, for preparation day last week we drove to Franklin for a zone activity. We played corn hull; I played for probably two hours. Funnest game ever. Basically it's like a different version of horseshoes. Anyways, I'm pretty good at it now haha. I should have taken pictures, sorry. Monday night we ran into a lot of weirdos while we were working. One of them was basically this homeless guy. We met him probably four or five weeks ago and he's still around. He tried to hug us haha. Yeah that didn't go over well. Anyways, don't worry mom, I'm being safe I promise!

Tuesday night we went and read the Book of Mormon with Sis Magellon. This is seriously one of my favorite things to do. We had said an opening prayer, then she said "wait a second" and called a few of her kids to come and listen. Sis Jones and I were sitting on the coach and the four of them were sitting under a blanket with their copies of the Book of Mormon. The kids didn't pay attention for the entire time, one of them fell asleep haha. But I loved the sight of it.

Zone meeting on Wednesday was great. So in the past we have set monthly baptism goals. Now we are going to start setting quarterly ones. At first I was a bit scared, lack of faith mostly, because how can we see that far in advance? Well instead of just us full time missionaries working on this goal, the ward will be aware of our goals. It's incredible to be a part of the missionary changes going on right now. President Cleveland has a vision for this mission and he's working to fulfill it. How grateful I am that I get to serve under him. Anyways, working with the ward is slow and challenging, but it's the only way to hasten the Lord's work. In the short term, meeting with ward members and teaching them doctrine doesn't directly change our key indicators. But in the long term it will yield incredible results.

Thursday was a little challenging. It's incredible how the mission makes my weaknesses VERY clear. I've never been more aware of my flaws in my entire life. But it's a very good thing because then I am able to work on them. Repentance is so real. I don't really get it. One thing I'm very grateful for it that Heavenly Father is perfectly patient. I make the same stupid mistakes day after day, yet I know He will always forgive me and loves me perfectly. That's been an incredible comfort these last couple of week.

Friday we went and saw Benjamin. We brought a member with us who served in Argentina so the lesson was half Spanish half English. I was pretty proud of myself because I was able to at least get the gist of what they were saying in Spanish, not too bad for taking it five years ago. So Friday night Sis Clark came and picked me up! I was incredibly excited to see her again. The car ride back to Bloomington was wonderful. It was like we just picked up where we left  off. However, she has changed a lot. She's grown so much spiritually and has really filled her role of being a sister training leader. We went and taught a member that night. All the anxiety of saying the right thing at the right time came back. I hadn't felt that way since I left YSA. It was so weird. Those feelings of being afraid of disappointing my trainer came flooding back. That night I didn't sleep too well. I was actually afraid of working with Sis Clark. She just seems so perfect.

I learned a lot during my personal study Saturday morning. I was trying to focus on the lessons we were going to teach that day. I prayed for the spiritual strength to be able to teach in unity. I just felt so small and so inadequate. I have really wanted to focus on my ability to teach. It's fundamental in being a missionary. We not only teach when we have planned appointments, but we are teaching every time we are talking to someone. I sat their thinking, how does the Savior teach? I immediately thought of John 21. It's one of my favorite chapters in the Bible and I've read it a lot recently. A couple of weeks ago (sorry if I've already told you this) our zone leaders gave a brief training. One of them said something along the lines of "Preach My Gospel is the principles of Heaven recorded on Earth". I've thought about that line a lot lately. The scriptures are full of the principles that are taught in Preach My Gospel, it's nothing new. Anyways, as I was reading through John 21 I was looking for those teaching principles. It so exciting to see how the Savior taught in the same way that is taught in Preach My Gospel. He asks questions, extends commitments, promises blessings, follow-ups, uses how to being teaching, the list could go on. I've really come to treasure my time reading the scriptures. Anyways, the probably didn't make a lot of sense, but I learned a lot from reading that chapter.

Saturday, we ended up not teaching any of our lessons. So we PCed campus all day! School doesn't start for two more weeks, so for the most part they only people that were there were the Asians for orientation. We talked to a lot of Asians. My teaching started out kind of rough. As missionaries we are to declare repentance, but we have to learn to do it in a conversational way instead of sounding preachy. I have a hard time with that, especially when we start out. It was good to be with someone who is completely confident and bold to go up and talk to anyone. Sis Clark really is incredible and she was able to teach me so much. She's a spiritual powerhouse and I really needed it. Our drive back to Seymour was wonderful to. I shared with her some of the struggles I've been through this last month or two. She's been there and that's why we can talk. She has such a deep relationship with God that she just gets how to be a missionary. I'm so grateful that we get to spend most of our mission together.

I have a lot of regrets from my past transfers, especially my first transfer here in Seymour. Sis Clark told me that God trusted me to put me in that difficult situation and that He knew I was doing my best only having been out 6 weeks. In some ways I feel that I have scars from that transfer. But my mission so far has allowed me to be humble and teachable. I wouldn't trade my transfers for the world, because I am learning to become the person God needs me to be. I'm learning what it means to have faith. I don't understand how prayer or how the Spirit works; I don't understand how I"m supposed to help other people. Hard days are still ahead. Who knows, tomorrow I may wake up and suddenly not want to be here. But Saturday was what I needed.

Have I ever told you about Indiana skies? That are gorgeous. I love driving to church in the early morning. I can't help but think about our Father in Heaven as I gaze up into the sky. I feel so small and insignificant, yet special and known. We didn't have plans after church, like usual. We went and talked to people in the park. I tried to just remain calm and simply have conversations with people. I loved it. No, we didn't get an new investigators, but I shared my testimony and extended commitments. Then we stopped by a less actives home. She has Alzheimer's so it's difficult for her to come to church. She's one of the sweetest people I know. When we walked in, I didn't know what we were going to talk about. We just talked for a minute and then I thought of 2 Nephi 18 when the Savior talks about the importance of praying in our families. We shared a brief message on the importance of prayer. I felt the Spirit and that was all I needed. I don't know what I said, but I loved sharing with them my testimony of prayer. The simple things of the gospel are what I like to talk about. I could care less talking about how many times God has appeared to people, or the details of the signs of the second coming. I just like to talk about faith, prayer, etc and reading the Book of Mormon. Oh yeah! I got to teach Gospel Principles on the spot again. It was on baptism. We had started talking about what it means to take upon the name of Christ. One of the men (that same one who had taught Benjamin with us) raised his hand and asked "Sister Mayberry, how are you a representative of Jesus Christ?" I've never been so happy to answer a question in my life. I don't know exactly what I said, something about being a full time representative and what a blessing it is. In that moment I felt like I was beaming. For the first time in a long time I was proud and happy to say I was a full time representative of Jesus Christ. I can't really explain the experience, I'm just glad I was able to teach yesterday.

So this week ended very well. On Wednesday a general authority is coming so we are having am mission conference. I'm really looking forward to it! I don't want to be an adult haha. I keep telling Sister Jones this is my last week to be a kid! 21 is just too old. Anyways, I'm sure I'll have a great week. I love my Father in Heaven and my Savior Jesus Christ. I can't imagine living the rest of my life without serving a mission.

Our zone meeting and some pictures of IU campus. It felt like I was walking through a park. It's going to be gorgeous ones the leaves start changing.