I woke up angry Thursday morning. I tried to talk myself out of it all morning. The anger melted away as I studies the scriptures. My testimony of the scriptures really has grown as I have seen how my attitude changes as I read them. In one of the talks I had read previously it said that a mission should be holy ground. What do I need to change to make my mission holy ground?
Friday I allowed myself to by happy, it's a choice right? In district meeting we talked about principles from chapter 10 in PMG and teach people not lessons, always my favorite. Friday was the last day of the month and we still had over 600 miles left because our cars had been grounded so much. We joked about how we had enough miles to go to Nauvoo and back, our district leader even gave us permission. Instead we decided to contact some names our branch president had given to us.
Before our dinner appointment Friday night we stopped by a RC/LA that we've been trying to get in contact for like the last 10 weeks. When she finally had time to meet with us, we only had 10 minutes because of our dinner. So we scheduled to come back on Sunday...more on that in a little bit.
Saturday morning we woke up with about five inches of snow on the ground, on top of what we already had. So we were on foot all day. But shortly after we went out it actually turned to rain, so then everything iced over. For the first time ever people pulled over to offer us rides, three times actually. We declined each one. Anyways, Chastity is back. We met with her twice this last week and she has a new date for March 2nd. The second time we taught both her and her husband the word of wisdom and both accepted to live it. Chastity simply amazes me by her real intent. She pretty much has every reason to not get baptized, but she's determined to. She's made plans to quit smoking within the week so she can make her date. I love teaching them....actually I love teaching in general.
Sunday was incredible, I love fast Sunday's especially. We did a mission wide finding fast yesterday so we spent the week studying finding. It was interesting, at the end of mission correlation President Kelly asked one of the elders to bear their testimony. This elder spoke about how this was a hard area to come to because he had been in the city the entire time and in order to find investigators out here you have to be really diligent. He spoke about how he has come to learn how important reaching out to less actives is in this area. As he spoke, I realized the same thing. I hadn't worked much with less actives in my previous area, but it has been a majority of what we have done since coming to Plymouth. It's been a struggle, it still is a little bit. But inviting people to come closer to Christ doesn't mean to just finding people who haven't been baptized. In this area I've learned the importance of rescuing and strengthening a unit.
That moment led up very nicely for our less active visit. This sister was baptized last Mother's day. She sought out the church on her own and was just a sponge when it came to learning the gospel. Last fall she fell away and returned to her old life style habits. When we went over there we just talked for the first little bit to get a feel for where she's at. She's lonely, she's divorced and wants to feel loved again. Unfortunately that's her number one priority right now instead of living the gospel. She knows the church is true. She's loves to study. I was simply amazed at how much material she has read. She told us she isn't ready to give up her habits, that she likes being miserable and she doesn't have the patience to wait for God's blessings. As I've met with people, I've come to realize that we all have similar trials and struggles, they are just a little bit different in how they are portrayed. She's struggling with giving her will to God, I've struggled with the same thing as a missionary. I was thinking about her this morning during my studies. I thought of Ether 12:25 (I think I've shared this scripture before) "we behold our weaknesses and stumble" and then of course in verse 27 we learn about when we turn our weaknesses over to God, He will turn them into strengths. It's natural to stumble in this life, but what each of us must decide is whether or not we are going to turn them over to our Heavenly Father.
I love being able to pray for people. That's something I learned only the second day in the field, prayer if a powerful way to show someone that you care about them. Here's this woman that I've only spent about an hour and half with, we are 30 years apart in age and have lived very different lives, but I've come to learn that people are deeply touched when you pray for them.
On the way home from the lesson I got a little teary- eyed, not enough for my companion to know though. I remember one time in the car my trainer just started crying out of the middle of nowhere about how much she loves the gospel and being a missionary. I thought how I would never, ever do that. Well, it may have not be full on tears, but yesterday driving home I was deeply touched. Touched that my Heavenly Father has given me this opportunity. There are an endless number of times when I have been frustrated with myself, but I can't deny the way I feel when I know that I'm being an instrument in my Heavenly Father's hand. There is no better feeling in the world and I'm beginning to feel like I'm running out of time. I'm realizing that I'm not going to be wearing this tag forever, and it's beginning to hurt. I'm so grateful that many months ago President Cleveland straight up told me I'm a sensitive person, because I know that if I wasn't I wouldn't be able to cherish these kinds of moments. I so badly wish I could adequately express on paper on I feel. My greatest desire is that my heart never well. That I will never forget what it feels like to help someone else come closer to Christ.
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