I brought two pairs at Walmart, only have been wearing them for about an hour, and my life has changed haha. It got cold again this week and snowed. We have to walk everywhere because we have a mission conference in Fisher's next week that we have to drive to. It takes about 200 of our monthly miles, so yes a lot of walking this month. I would also recommend the gingerbread m&m's. I walked past them, and kind of like my pumpkin addiction, I couldn't say no.
So some investigator info. Jaylan is a 13 year old who got baptized back in October. Her mom REFUSES to quite smoking along with the coffee, tea, etc. The elders had taught her once before we got her. We have kind of been teaching her. Actually we've been apostate missionaries and just haven't been really bold with her. Last night they had us over for dinner. Earlier in the week we had committed Jenny (the mom) the begin reading the Book of Mormon. We followed up and she had! So then I just asked her "what are you going to start doing when you find out it is true?" She said "we'll I'm not going to quite smoking!" I told her not to worry about that, but what else was she going to do. She said said "we'll I guess start going to church and stuff". I am DETERMINED to set a date with her this week. She's one of the funniest people I have ever met. We are also going to help her paint some of her house this week hopefully.
Our other solid investigators cancelled their appointments with us on Saturday. We'll be meeting with one of them tonight though! We saw a lot of less actives this week. One of them was an older lady in her 80s and she came to church yesterday! From what more experienced elders have said it's hard to meet with investigators this time of the year so key indicators for less actives tend to go up. Also our branch president gives us a list of like 10 names for people to go see during the week.
Friday we had zone meeting. I hate being the only sisters in the zone. The elders treat us like we are a disease or something haha. Not really, but we did kind of feel like outcasts. Luckily one of the elders from my MTC district was at least willing enough to role play with me. One of the elders trained on diligence and left us with a commitment to study why we do missionary work...more on that later.
Friday night was our branch Christmas party. No program, only food! Luckily an unknown member of the ward made sweet potato casserole! Almost like how you make it mom, the only difference was there weren't any pecans on top. I
may have had more than one serving of it. I also spent some time talking to a gentleman in our ward. He served his mission in Denmark back in the 1960s. He was telling me how the MTC was only four days and at the end her got set apart by Spencer W. Kimball who was then an apostle. We talked about how much missionary work has certainly changed! I'm starting to like the branch more and more. It's interesting to go to church when maybe a third of the people show up in jeans and t-shirts, but I'm soooo glad they are willing to come. It's a neat opportunity to be able to offer a smile a hug to such humble people.
Something way embarrassing happened on Saturday. For some reason I've been really tired these week....I've been sleeping fine. Anyways, we were teaching a less active and I started dozing off! The minute I realized it the sister said something about it and asked if I wanted to go home haha. Little does she know we don't stop working until
9:30. Unfortunately the same thing happened the week before. I felt terrible, still do. So....Sister McDowell said she's going to start elbowing me during lessons.
Spiritually this week has been pretty hard. I've felt almost no motivation and my personal studies haven't been very diligent. I've been praying multiple times a day to figure what the heck my problem is. I've been blaming it on the fact that I've been out nine months, I'm tired, and I've started to hit a plateau, but I hate that. How do I make myself begin to progress again? Maybe I mentioned this last week, but we've been listening to a lot of talks by general authorities lately. One of them is by Elder Holland and it's called "Remember Lot's Wife", I think. Anyways, he talks about the importance of not longing to live in the past. I've done that a lot lately. Not only premission life, but mostly my first transfer. Unfortunately, there hasn't been a day gone by that I don't wish to be back in the YSA. I think it's mostly because I feel like I didn't learn everything I could have from my trainer. I've realized how luckily I am to have been trained by the one and only Sister Donaldson. I've realized that she was able to teach me things that a lot of other sisters aren't. The one thing I didn't learn from her is how to be strong, how to not be easily influenced by people around me. I haven't figured out how to pass on what she taught me to other sisters. It's SO frustrating.
So last night I was studying why we do missionary work. We do it so people can become cleansed from their sins and return to live with Heavenly Father again. This week I have continued to pray and ask what I need to do to become a missionary. We'll last night I got my answer, at least the beginning of it. I have to come to not only understand, but feel what the atonement means. In Preach My Gospel it talks about once we understand the atonement we will understand how important it is for EVERYONE to be cleansed from sin, which then provides the motivation necessary to share the gospel. In this moment, I don't feel like I'm there. I feel like I don't have a deep enough understanding of the atonement and what it can do for each of us. I remember before I left President Pringle told me that the reasons returned missionaries come back changed is because they come to understand what the atonement means. So...I've got nine months to begin to figure out what it means. Obviously I realized I'm going to continue to learn what the atonement means for the rest of my life. But I've got to feel what it means so I can continue to progress and help others progress.
This morning I was reading Jacob 1:8
"Wherefore, we would to God that we could PERSUADE ALL MEN not to rebel against God, to provoke him to anger, but that all mean would BELIEVE IN CHRIST, and view his death, and SUFFER HIS CROSS AND BEAR THE SHAME OF THE WORLD..."
The cross reference for cross leads to Luke
14:27
I kept reading. So from Jacob 1:8 I learned we are hear to help people believe in Christ and once we come to believe in Christ we have to suffer to a small degree what Christ suffered. I read Luke
14:27 " and whosever doth no bear his cross, and come after me, cannot be my disciple" but then continued reading. The following versus talk about not counting the cost. They are very good, I recommend everyone to read them. Which reminded me of another Elder Holland talk. He said we can't count the cost of sacrifices. Why? Because then we aren't doing it with a willing heart. V 33 "so likewise, whosever he be of you that forsaketh not all that he hath, he cannot be my disciple". If we don't give up EVERYTHING, then we aren't a disciple. Counting the cost isn't giving up everything willing. I've been counting the cost of my mission, counting days, etc. And that's why I've stopped progressing to an extent. So what have I learned these past couple of days? I've got to come to feel what the atonement means more, I can't count the costs, and I can't look back. Coming to feel what the atonement means means repentance on my part. Everyday it's a battle between my will and Heavenly Father's. Luckily, He's patient and hasn't sent me home yet :)
On a lighter note....Sister McDowell is pretty awesome. Sorry I haven't said anything about her. She's from Gilbert AZ, 21 years old, has been out 7 1/2 months (one transfer less than me). She's way athletic and people ask her all the time if she's an athlete. She has a twin sister, huh I don't know what else to say.
I think that's about everything. Sorry no pictures...the computer isn't working.
Love you all!
Sister Mayberry
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