Hoosier: someone who has lived in Indiana for over a year
Tuesday we went tracting out in this place called Teegarden. I think 100 people live there. We had parked our car and then were heading to the street we had picked out to tract. As we were walking by this lady and her daughter were getting out of the car. She asked if we were new (obviously it's small enough that everyone knows everyone) and we told her we were missionaries. She kind of brushed us off and instead of being persistent I moved on. Then as we were heading back to the car later I had this feeling to go knock on her door. I fought it hard. But I knew I would feel so guilty about it if I didn't. So just as we were walking by I told Sister Bunnell I was going to knock on it. It probably wasn't the most effective door, I didn't ask inspired questions or anything, but I simply told her how much the gospel has blessed by life and I wanted her to have the opportunity to learn about the church. I left her a mormon.org card and was on my way.
Wednesday marked my one year in Indiana. To celebrate I read through my journal entries from a year ago. That first day in the field was absolutely wonderful. Every day I thank my Heavenly Father for placing me in each of the position of have been in and the people I have met.
Vocal Point is a wonderful CD to listen to after a stressful day. I was jamming out Friday night. During district meeting that morning we talked about the Atonement and turning the day over to the Lord. I realized I don't teach about the Atonement enough. We had some rough days with our investigators this week, I won't go into detail but long story short we didn't have any progressing investigators this week. By Friday night I was REALLY looking forward to going to the temple. I had a hard time sleeping that night because I was so excited haha.
The car ride to Chicago was a lot of fun. Sister Kelly had fun pointing things out because she lived there for awhile. WE DROVE THROUGH GARY!!! Obviously I've been there before, but I don't remember it! The coolest part was that all my giddy excitement was gone the minute we walked into the temple. We got there pretty early for our session and it was really busy. A temple worker told me 80 missionaries had already been there. Sister Clark was there! There was also another set of elders from our mission. There was a girl in our session that was going through for the first time and she leaves in two weeks for her mission. We had fun talking to her for a minute after the session. I didn't want to leave the Celestial room. There was an opening sealing room and Sister Kelly told me to go stand in there. That was a neat experience. Hopefully it will still be a little while until I'm there for myself ;)
Afterwards we took a lot of pictures. I just didn't want to leave but I recognize that right now my calling is to teach people so they can experience the same joy that the temple brings. I'm definitely excited to be able to attend a temple weekly once I got back to school. That night we were walking around town trying a few potentials. In the distance I saw this lady walking around this park thing. I decided we were going to go hunt her down. We got up to her and found out she was visiting from Mishawaka for the evening and had some time to kill before dinner. She had talked with missionaries briefly before. We ended up walking with her for about 20 minutes around town and teaching her about the Restoration. I loved it because the conversation was so natural and it just flowed out.
At church yesterday I had to play the piano during sacrament because the pianist couldn't come. I was super nervous. I was also doing accompanying Sister Bunnell and Elder Van Shaar singing. After the musical number I was just sitting in the congregation I got a bit teary eyed. Feelings of inadequacy and self doubt began to creep in. In gospel principles we talked about repentance. All I could think about was everything I was doing wrong. I was stressed about Jeremy's baptism after church and the current situation with one of our investigators. We were about to go into Relief Society when we stopped and talked to a sister. She told me how she didn't know there was a baptism and I started to apologize and then just burst into tears right there in the middle of the hall. I felt pretty foolish but I was just so overwhelmed. Of course she asked me to explain what was wrong and I told her how I just felt like I wasn't doing enough for the area and I was just emotional stressed out. After talking for a few minutes we headed into the room but I realized I needed another tissue. So we went to bathroom and two other woman were in there (one was also crying haha). Sister Richhart took one look at me and asked what was wrong. It started all over again! We had a bit of a crying session in the bathroom and we said we all felt like high school girls again. I recognize how dangerous it is to let feelings of doubt creep in. Sometimes I just feel like I get too emotionally involved in this work and I so desperately want to fulfill everything that my Heavenly Father wants me to do. But oftentimes I feel like I don't know how to listen to the Spirit so I don't understand what He wants me to do. At the end of Relief Society President Kelly pulled us aside and reminded me about the role of agency in salvation. To count the miracles that I have seen and remember my experience at the temple the previous day. I can't control the decisions that other people make. It's just hard because I want to help people and I hate it when they don't think that I'm helping them. Luckily, today I'm feeling much better. Usually I just need a good night's sleep and some interaction with wonderful branch members.
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