October 21st-"If the bitter cup does not pass, drink it and move on" Elder Holland

So very last minute we ended up going on exchanges on Thursday. Sister Tibbitts and I made the drive to Bloomington to spend the day on IU campus. It was so much better than last time! I was with Sister Allen again, who I absolutely love. Basically we just taught all day...we have five lessons. It was fun because it reminded me of my first transfer being back in a YSA. As we were driving down there Wednesday night I had some time to think. I realized I REALLY need to focus on effective studies and teaching people. I'm finally at the point where I feel semi-comfortable with where I'm at. I'm familiar with the area, I've trained before (although training is very different every time you do it) etc. I came to the conclusion that it's time to focus on fine tuning my missionary skills. Something Sister Donaldson taught me. I'll continue learning how to be a better missionary even once I get home. In some ways I don't want to go back to BYUI because they are all a bunch of Mormons! I'll just have to figure out how to still be a missionary. I talked with Sister Allen about it and it was perfect because we had so many lesson lined up. It was HARD teaching. I hadn't met any of these people before so it was an intense "teach people not lessons" day. By the last lesson I felt like I finally did something right. The girl we were teaching was questioning the Book of Mormon. I...I mean the Spirit explained it in a way that it made sense to her. There is nothing better than teaching someone and they get it. It's incredible what I am able to learn from people outside of the church. No they don't have the entire truth, but they have an incredible amount of faith and I am able to learn from them. I don't take advantage for the truth that I have in my life. Some of these people that I have met seem to have such stronger testimonies of Christ, and I just thing it's no big deal sometimes. Anyways, exchanges are my favorite, I know I've said that before. I learned a lot from Sister Allen. I was doing terrible pcing on campus....but she just reassured me. I want to be her companion someday two, only two transfers left though.

The elders had a baptism on Saturday. Two weeks in a row? Yeah I think the Franklin ward may very well be the highest baptizing ward in the mission. Anyways, Don and Leah Ann were able to come. They are so solid! We taught them enduring to the end and word of wisdom this week. They were totally cool with it. They told us they are no re-reading the Book of Mormon, started D&C the Priesthood/Relief Society manual and Leah Ann started the Pearl of Great Price haha. Anyways, I don't think anything could get better than teaching them.

I'm not sure what was going on this week, but I got a lot of extra mail which was great! I have to admit, I think that hardest part (at least for me) is thinking that everyone in your life has forgotten about you. Because I'm not around and I don't here from people, you can't help but wonder if people remember you. Saturday was hard....I let some negative things in that I shouldn't have been thinking about. Like looking at the clock, figuring out the time change and wondering what my family was doing at that moment.

A very interesting talk was given in sacrament yesterday. Brother Johnson is on the high council but also in our ward. He got up and said that every time he gets up to speak he asks Heavenly Father what specific thing he should tell the ward in addition to the talk he planned. He told us how that morning he woke up and the Spirit prompted him about what he needed to say. Then he spoke about repentance. Yes, he called the ward to repentance, but in a bold and loving way. It was incredible. Ok now that I'm writing it out it sounds stupid, but I guess it was one of those "you had to be there" moments. There are a lot of mistakes I have to repent of, and some of them are hard to let go. In every missionary's call letter it says that you are to completely devote all your time and attention to serving the Lord, leaving behind all personal affairs. That's hard. To completely give everything over to Heavenly Father. The quote in the subject box was something President Cleveland sent us a few weeks ago. We all have to drink bitter cups, multiple ones throughout our lives. I guess I'm learning to just deal with the hard times. My mission isn't going to go away. No matter how many times I go to bed wishing that the next morning I will wake up back in WA, it's not going to happen. At least not for awhile. Yesterday while we were getting ready I realized that one Sunday I'm going to wake up and I'm going to be going home the next day. In some ways that frightens me.

Yesterday at church this woman with five children walked in. She was given a mormon.org card by elders two years ago and she kept it. Her husband just got up a left about seven months ago. She knows she needs to make changes in her life. So? She just decided to try this church. We are going to go and see her this week. Miracle? I would say. Everyone tells us you never know what will become of the work we do. Well she's a living example of that.

This week was a little bit better, still had some very low moments. Luckily we have a lot of plans to be working with the ward in the coming week. Our ward mission leader is pretty sweet. He's totally willing to make phone calls to try and set up appointments with us. While I was sitting in sacrament meeting I realized that I really do love this ward. There are a ton of great families here and I really don't ever want to leave, but I know I will.

As a missionary, a lot of thoughts go through my head each day. A lot of emotions. One moment I'm very homesick and all I want to do is go home. But the minute I get into a teaching experience I don't want to be anywhere else. I think I'm just rambling at this point. Thanks for all the support from everyone! The letters and e-mails from different people this week certainly helped out a lot. The hardest part of a mission is the extreme loneliness that comes. I'm always with some one, but I've never felt so alone in my life. But that's good because it forces me to turn to Heavenly Father.

To end this rather random e-mail, I'm attaching some pictures of the local scenery. Indiana is beautiful in the fall, that's what everyone told me. I'm sad I only get one out here. I pulled out my nylons this week! It got a little cold, but it's warmed back up again.